We’re all waiting on the actual draft order to leak from the NBA All-Star teams. While Stephen Curry and LeBron James stayed silent on who they selected, both said it should have been televised. (The NBA planned to do so, too, only for certain members of the players association to push back against the plan.) It almost seems inevitable that someone, at some point, will figure out who exactly went in what order.
That said, there is no need for you to wait. I have the correct order right here. I’m just guessing on all 22 selections, but coincidentally, all 22 selections are correct. I provided brief descriptions behind my air-proof, unfalsifiable logic underneath each pick, which I hope you will appreciate and understand.
If you’d rather wait until someone reports the actual order, then skip this article. You may not want spoilers. Otherwise, please enjoy the definitely correct, no-way-it-could-be-wrong order that each captain drafted.
(An extremely brief reminder how this worked: Starters were voted in by fan, player, and media votes. Reserves were selected by coaches. James and Curry are captains because they received the highest fan vote for their respective conferences. They must select four starters from the starters pool, and then seven reserves from the reserve pool. James begins, but Curry will have the first reserve pick.)
LeBron picked ... Kevin Durant
We don’t need a Wojbomb to know James picked Durant. This is canon. This happened. If it hadn’t, then Curry would have picked him second overall — they’re teammates, after all — and he would be on the other team. Plus, James and Durant have always had a good professional relationship. Did you know they even played a flag football game together during the NBA’s 2011 lockout? It’s hardly fair, but the two best players in the league will be on the same team.
We don’t need a Wojbomb to know James picked Durant. This is canon. This happened. If it hadn’t, then Curry would have picked him second overall — they’re teammates, after all — and he would be on the other team. Plus, James and Durant have always had a good professional relationship. Did you know they even played a flag football game together during the NBA’s 2011 lockout? It’s hardly fair, but the two best players in the league will be on the same team.
Steph picked ... Giannis Antetokounmpo
This makes sense for obvious reasons, and other ones. Antetokounmpo is hugely popular — after the first returns of the All-Star voting, he led all vote getters — and he’s an MVP candidate this season, prone to making any number of highlight plays. Notably, Antetokounmpo also shares an agent, Jeff Austin, with Antetokounmpo. It’s possible he took James Harden with his first pick, but I’m guessing the Greek Freak.
Steph picked ... James Harden
I wonder if Harden being the most visible Adidas athlete factored into James passing on him. Either way, Curry shouldn’t be worried about it.
This makes sense for obvious reasons, and other ones. Antetokounmpo is hugely popular — after the first returns of the All-Star voting, he led all vote getters — and he’s an MVP candidate this season, prone to making any number of highlight plays. Notably, Antetokounmpo also shares an agent, Jeff Austin, with Antetokounmpo. It’s possible he took James Harden with his first pick, but I’m guessing the Greek Freak.
Steph picked ... James Harden
I wonder if Harden being the most visible Adidas athlete factored into James passing on him. Either way, Curry shouldn’t be worried about it.
LeBron picked ... DeMarcus Cousins
Steph picked ... Joel Embiid
Curry had to nab a proper big man somewhere, you know! And let’s be real: Curry has somehow cultivated a baby-faced personality, but he’s an elite trash talker. He surely respects Embiid’s game, too.
Curry had to nab a proper big man somewhere, you know! And let’s be real: Curry has somehow cultivated a baby-faced personality, but he’s an elite trash talker. He surely respects Embiid’s game, too.
LeBron picked ... Kyrie Irving
YES IT HAPPENED.
YES IT HAPPENED.
James could have picked DeRozan, and he could have installed himself at point guard, but that wouldn’t have made much sense. There was only one other point guard James could have selected in the “starters” phase of the drafting, and it was Irving. It would have been insanely, absurdly petty for James to not pick Irving.
Does James even dislike Irving? Irving might dislike James, but James’ reaction to Irving’s trade request this summer was always something like, “I’m not mad, but I’m disappointed.” He kept calling Irving a kid, something that was noted as Irving made his wake. James respects players demanding autonomy and making moves, after all. He started it by going to Miami!
Oh, and Irving will now have to wear a jersey that says “TEAM LEBRON.” There’s a subtle joy in that.
Steph picked ... DeMar DeRozan
Steph picked ... DeMar DeRozan
Steph picked ... Klay Thompson
We’re shifting to the reserve picks, and the vote flips over to Curry first to make it slightly more fair. We know he’ll pick his teammates first, and Klay Thompson’s deleted tweet about not having to ask for a trade makes it clear that Curry agreed to nab him first overall. It makes sense! Out of everyone in this draft, the player that James is least likely to pick is Draymond Green. Plus, James has to reward his own teammate ...
We’re shifting to the reserve picks, and the vote flips over to Curry first to make it slightly more fair. We know he’ll pick his teammates first, and Klay Thompson’s deleted tweet about not having to ask for a trade makes it clear that Curry agreed to nab him first overall. It makes sense! Out of everyone in this draft, the player that James is least likely to pick is Draymond Green. Plus, James has to reward his own teammate ...
LeBron picked ... Kevin Love
James said there was one moment where he and Curry just started laughing, and that’s why this thing should be televised. It probably went like:
James said there was one moment where he and Curry just started laughing, and that’s why this thing should be televised. It probably went like:
JAMES: Well, I guess I’ll take K-Love.
CURRY: Aren’t you trying to get him traded?
JAMES: No, no, this right here is my brother who I just respect so much. What really stands out is his commitment to this team through thick and thin.
Steph picked ... Draymond Green
Again — teammate pick. He had to. He didn’t want Draymond to head to Bob’s office.
Again — teammate pick. He had to. He didn’t want Draymond to head to Bob’s office.
LeBron picked ... John Wall
Just to antagonize Kyrie.
Just to antagonize Kyrie.
Kidding. James and Wall share Rich Paul as an agent, and I bet James took him pretty quick because of that.
Steph picked ... Karl-Anthony Towns
Curry’s team is small.
LeBron picked ... Kristaps Porzingis
This is a smart pick from James making sure he denies Curry from drafting too much height for his undersized roster.
Curry’s team is small.
LeBron picked ... Kristaps Porzingis
This is a smart pick from James making sure he denies Curry from drafting too much height for his undersized roster.
Steph picked ... Al Horford
You guys thought Horford would be the last pick? With Stephen Curry drafting? Oh please. Curry moves off the ball as well as any player in the league. He consistently leads or is near the top of the league in screens set as a guard. He loves running through his two big men on an elevators play. OF COURSE Curry loves Horford, who is “boring” but makes good basketball plays. I’m positive this happened.
You guys thought Horford would be the last pick? With Stephen Curry drafting? Oh please. Curry moves off the ball as well as any player in the league. He consistently leads or is near the top of the league in screens set as a guard. He loves running through his two big men on an elevators play. OF COURSE Curry loves Horford, who is “boring” but makes good basketball plays. I’m positive this happened.
LeBron picked ... Russell Westbrook
Everyone’s talking about the Irving-James reunion, but I still think there’s serious underlying animosity between Durant and Westbrook. This one is much more fascinating to me.
Everyone’s talking about the Irving-James reunion, but I still think there’s serious underlying animosity between Durant and Westbrook. This one is much more fascinating to me.
Or maybe it’s this one?
Steph picked ... Jimmy Butler
STEPH: “I’m gonna take Butler next.”
STEPH: “I’m gonna take Butler next.”
LEBRON: “Nice pick. I love that dude.”
STEPH: “Oh, bet. I’m just glad y’all didn’t end up being teammates.”
LEBRON: “Yeah, but it’s just an All-Star game, you know?”
STEPH: “I’m not talking about that.”
LeBron pretends he doesn’t get it and makes his next pick, but he’ll post something moody and vague to his Instagram story later that day.
LeBron picked ... Victor Oladipo
Bad pick. Oladipo will go 3-of-11 from the field with zero assists because he’s back on Westbrook’s team now.
Bad pick. Oladipo will go 3-of-11 from the field with zero assists because he’s back on Westbrook’s team now.
teph picked ... Damian Lillard
Baby splash bros.
Baby splash bros.
LeBron picked ... Bradley Beal
James and Beal will swap so many dysfunctional locker room stories.
James and Beal will swap so many dysfunctional locker room stories.
Steph picked ... Kyle Lowry
Even with Lowry lasting to pick No. 21, he’s still teammates with DeRozan. [Pretend there’s a heart emoji here, because our story editor won’t allow us to put emojis, but this is an extremely appropriate emoji situation.
LeBron picked ... LaMarcus Aldridge
There is a 10,000 percent chance that Aldridge was the last pick. He’s been great this year, too! TEN-THOUSAND PERCENT.
Even with Lowry lasting to pick No. 21, he’s still teammates with DeRozan. [Pretend there’s a heart emoji here, because our story editor won’t allow us to put emojis, but this is an extremely appropriate emoji situation.
LeBron picked ... LaMarcus Aldridge
There is a 10,000 percent chance that Aldridge was the last pick. He’s been great this year, too! TEN-THOUSAND PERCENT.
