The Dunk Contest will always reach higher peaks in your memory than watching it live on a Saturday night. A highlight reel of the dunks, one that skips all the misses and flies through all the underwhelming ones, is the best way to consume the Dunk Content. The ebb-and-flow and the tension of an NBA game doesn’t really exist for a live dunk contest, but we always think it might, so that’s why we’re glued to a television screen anyway.

Saturday’s Dunk Contest was an average one. It didn’t blow anything out of the water, but it performed adequately. Donovan Mitchell was the winner, and for reasons that I’ll explain later, I wasn’t the biggest fan. Utah fans will note, correctly, that I’m a Dallas guy. We might as well get any biases out front right now. Never mind that he’ll probably be my Rookie of the Year pick at the end of the season — I’m a hater, folks. You got me.

From worst to best, here are all 12 Dunk Contest jams, ranked in correct and absolute order.

12. Victor Oladipo’s missed dunk
11. Victor Oladipo’s ‘Black Panther’ routine
Let’s just get Oladipo out of the way: He was bad. I thought his Black Panther routine was the most creative prop in the whole event, but the dunk that followed it wasn’t that good. His first dunk, the one he wasn’t able to throw down, would have been great if he actually landed it! He didn’t, and we have to move on.

10. Donovan Mitchell’s Walmart-brand tribute to Vince Carter

I warned you. I told you to stop reading if you were prone to getting mad. I’m not backing down from this ranking.

Here’s the thing — Vince Carter had indisputably the greatest Dunk Contest performance that we have ever seen. If you put on his jersey, then you’re setting yourself up for failure, in all honesty. And Mitchell’s dunk was ... fine. It was a good, but not great, dunk. Carter didn’t die for good-but-not-great dunks.

I’m sorry. If you put on the Carter jersey, then you best deliver. That dunk wasn’t good enough.

9. Donovan Mitchell’s alley-oop off glass

Here’s my problem with Mitchell’s dunks: He jumps ridiculously high, but he doesn’t do anything with his vertical. He can make normal-looking dunks look special because he skies into the heavens every time he jumps. Mitchell and Smith are similar in that regard, except on both of his dunks, Smith attempted things that were more difficult and more exceptional, given his absurd leaping ability.

Mitchell’s dunks looked cool because he can jump absurdly high. His dunks were not terribly difficult. That’s all I’m saying.

8. Larry Nance’s alley-oop windmill
These were the same dunks, except Nance windmilled his. Maybe we add points to Mitchell for being shorter and subtract points from Nance for his height. But ultimately, he attempted the trickier dunk. He gets the slight edge here.

7. Donovan Mitchell’s dunk over Kevin Hart (and friends)
6. Donovan Mitchell’s second backboard alley-oop

Once again, the dunk over the Hart family was an instance where Mitchell could’ve done more given his sky-high leaping ability.

His second one? I’m torn. It was a creative dunk. I’ve never seen anything like this. But I’m torn, too — should you really bring out a second backboard if you’re basically only going to use it like a gym wall? It felt underwhelming.

That the sixth-best dunk felt underwhelming sort of describes this Dunk Contest.

5. Larry Nance’s under-the-backboard windmill slam
I’ve seen this dunk before, but Nance took advantage of his length to make it look amazing, and he took off from forever away from the basket. Good stuff.

4. Dennis Smith Jr.’s double-clutch reverse
His dunk got a 39. This dunk below got a 47.

3. Larry Nance’s tribute to his dad
2. Larry Nance Jr.’s double-tap jam
1. Dennis Smith Jr.’s between-the-legs 360 slam
This was the best dunk. I’ve never seen it before. It took full advantage of his ridiculous vertical. It was difficult as hell.

Smith should have won.